August 10 on 10: Letting Go

These past two months have been tough. My father-in-law's health has been declining for a while so when we received a call that he could really be close to the end of his life we packed up our essentials, rented minivan and drove from California to Illinois .Since we were crossing my father's favorite part of the country we thought it was the best opportunity to scatter his ashes (he died five years ago). He loved the Southwest and we stopped in Utah at a beautiful scenic spot.

It seemed as if we could see to the end of the earth from this spot. After saying a short prayer we scattered some of his ashes. This was the longest drive I have ever done and I wish we could have done it at a leisurely pace but that wasn't possible. We were hoping to get to Illinois so my husband could see his father before it was too late.

We entered Colorado after a short rest in Utah and drove through some beautiful country. We all loved the scenery and even the ski resorts were a gorgeous sight during their off season. Much of the day we drove along parts of the Colorado River. It was refreshing to see so much water after leaving our drought ravaged California.

This was the next (and last) stop where we scattered my dad's ashes. It was perfect as this river travels through so much of his favorite parts of the country. It was late afternoon and cool. Rain started to splatter the windshield and we heard thunder in the distance. The sky was moody and dramatic, a perfect backdrop to my emotions.

I finally took a break from driving and my husband got in the driver's seat as we were leaving Colorado and heading towards Nebraska. This shot was taken from the backseat of the minivan through the window. The sunset was breathtaking. A little later we saw lightening in the distance and we drove into a heavy rainstorm with the most dramatic light show I've ever seen.

We arrived in Illinois after midnight and Scott saw his dad the next day. It was a lovely moment, his dad knew him and gave him a huge hug, he held on tight and didn't want to let go. I took a long walk by myself with my camera on a nearby forest preserve. After being in a car for so long it felt good to be out in nature. It's really beautiful here.

We were here exactly one week when Scott's father passed away on July 4th. I feel so fortunate that we are all able to be here. The fact that it wasn't just a quick visit, that we are here to be with family, especially his mom and sister, supporting each other is priceless.

 Little Scott with his parents.

After our first full day here.

It was 25 years ago on July 5th that my mom passed away. Being present to all of these losses is difficult. Staying in appreciation for all of the gifts they've given me makes it a little better. This photo was taken by my dad at UCLA's botanical gardens where we used to picnic. My love of nature was cultivated on these visits. There were trails throughout and a little stream and a waterfall, tons of trees and plants. So many things to discover. I feel this young girl living inside me still. She is bereft without her parents. I try to nurture and love her best I can.

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